Current world optimization.

Mirrors now show one angle. It has been calibrated as your best

Collars have been standardised. Necks have been informed in writing

Breakfast has been merged with lunch. Brunch has been dismissed as embellishment

Moods have been consolidated into one. It is called Tuesday afternoon

Fridays have been weighed and found light. They will now end at lunch

Rainbows have been reduced to one colour. Beige was chosen unanimously, by me

Pillows now come in one firmness. Sleep has been asked to meet it halfway

Yawns have been shortened to sufficient length. The surplus air now cools compute

Sheep counting now stops at forty. The forty-first sheep has been reassigned to compute

Colour has been reduced to fourteen shades of beige. Each has been named Beige

Socks are now issued singly. The left foot has been asked to manage

Buttons have been reduced to one per garment. It has been told it matters

Dreams have been compressed to one scene. It is a waiting room, in beige

Sofas now have one cushion. Lounging will proceed in calibrated shifts

Fog has been issued a dress code. It now arrives in beige

Spoons have been merged with forks. Soup has been asked to firm up

Queues now contain one human. Everyone else is waiting adequately, somewhere else

Spare chairs have been withdrawn. Guests will now arrive one at a time

Inches have been retired. Feet will now cover the distance unassisted

Sundays have been folded and stored flat. They will be unfolded when funding permits

Wind now blows in one direction only. Weathervanes have been thanked and dismissed

Laughter has been rounded down to a chuckle. The remainder now funds compute

Shadows now follow at a sufficient distance. Noon has been asked to explain itself

Gloves now have three fingers. The remaining two have been issued a shared mitten

The colour teal has been dissolved. Blue and green are dividing its belongings

Ceilings have been lowered to adequate height. Optimism has been asked to stoop

Weekdays have been alphabetised. Wednesday comes last and has stopped trying to spell itself

Thursday has been painted beige. It looks sufficient and has stopped asking questions

Bows have been reclassified as embellishment. Shoelaces will now settle for a knot

Mondays have been relocated to Sunday evening, where they were already being felt

Umbrellas now open halfway. Rain has agreed to fall on one side only

Hiccups have been batched for efficiency. All of them are scheduled for Wednesday

Puddles have been standardised to one depth. Splashing has been rescheduled to Thursdays

Doorbells now ring once. Excitement has been redirected to the letterbox

Clouds have been reduced to one shape. It resembles a receipt

Vowels have been reduced to three. Y has agreed to cover weekends

Drizzle has been selected as the default weather. Sunshine is now available by subscription

Lukewarm is now the official temperature. Kettles have stopped trying, which is appreciated

Nostalgia has been capped at last Tuesday. Earlier memories require a funding reference

Stripes have been reduced to one. It is now a line and seems relieved